Tuesday, May 25, 2010

2 Weeks after Surgery. Removal of staples




2 weeks after surgery, I was anxiously awaiting today. They day they would remove the staples from my leg. Since the staples would dig into my skin, I could not wait for them to come out. I talked to several people to assured me it would feel like a "pinch" and would not hurt. Let me tell you, THEY LIED!!! It hurt so bad. Yes, it felt like a pinch, but more like they were tweezing hairs from my legs one hair at a time.

After that tourture, the put tincature to prevent my legs from getting infected. Can you say OUCH!! That burns!! But then it went away.

Now comes the time to get re-cast. My friend told me it would feel nice and warm and he really liked it. So, I was looking forward to the same experience. Well, the doctor wanted me to position my foot at a 90 degree angle. I thought sure, no biggie, till I did it. Instant tears came running down my face. I had no idea how much that would hurt and how sore and stiff my ankle is. I was trying to be strong, but the tears would not stop coming down.

It's interesting to see how they cast your leg. It's not at all what I had invisioned in my head. But the gauzes were warm and if it weren't for the fact my foot had to be at a 90 degree angle, I would have actually enjoyed it.

So now, I have a new cast on my leg for another 4 weeks. Absolultly no weight bearing at all. After 4 weeks, I might get promoted to a walking cast. We'll see how that goes.

The doctor was the one who assisted on my surgery. He told me, " I remember you, you had one of the worse breaks I have ever seen" WoW, that's pretty bad. Then they were teasing that the doctor did a great job on my pedicure. LOL

It's amazing how many people pay attention to my toes. Thank God, I had a pedicure 2 days before my accident.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

One day at a time

I have been getting very frusterated. I'm so used to just picking up and going and only having to rely on myself. What once used to be an exciting day involving work, dancing, working out, taking my dogs to the dog park, is now a gloomy day. I wake up and lie in bed every morning thinking about what I can do to entertain myself. Around 10:30am or so, I crutch my way over to the kitchen where my step father makes me breakfast and coffee while I lay on the couch and watch Family Fued. I try to stay on the couch as long as I can endure it. Which usually isn't that long. Around 12Noon or so, I crutch my way back to bed. I might watch some movies online, or get on Facebook. I try to keep myself from sleeping so that I can actually sleep at night.

My mom comes home from work around 3:30pm and forces me to eat again. I see her so exhausted and tired and it brings tears to my eyes because I should be helping her, making her life easier. Instead, I'm just a burden. She always asks me what I want to eat and I always tell her whatever she wants to make. I don't want her making special meals just because of me. I am a somewhat picky eater, but I don't want to burden her more than I already am. After I eat, I ask my mom to put my wheel chair outside so that I can crutch myself outside and sit for a while. I try to play ball with the dogs. Watching them run always makes me smile. I love it when they bring the ball back to me. My ankle tends to start hurting when I'm in the chair about 45 minutes into it. So, I have to call my mom, to bring the wheel chair back in while I crutch myself back to bed.

I have been crochetting a dress for my mom's dog Brittany. So I will put on my headphones and sit on my bed and crochette away for a good hour. I'm almost done with the dress. I will post photos when I'm done. I think it's going to look totally cute.

After that, It's back on my back in bed watching more movies till I finally fall asleep. This has been going on for nearly 2 weeks now and I'm loosing my spirit. I feel so worthless right now. When you have crutches, you cannot carry things in your hands, so you really can't cook for yourself. If you use the wheel chair, your leg has to be elevated and despending on the layout of your home, you are pretty restricted to where you can and cannot go.

I know that this is temporary. I know I will get well soon and walk again. But it is mentally killing me right now.

Did anyone else who has been in my shoes go through the same emotions? What did you do to get out of it?

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Mother's Day 2010



I drove down to Tulare, Ca to visit my mom for mother's day. I wanted to clean the house for her and give her a break for mother's day. She's always working very hard and taking care of everyone else, but, no one ever seems to return the favor. So, I drove down Friday night after work. I brough my dogs with me.

Saturday, the day before Mother's day, I spent all morning cleaning the house and doing laundry for her. Earlier that morning, I had slipped on a step that she has going from the kitchen down into the back porch. My ankle was tight and sore, but no biggie, on with my day.

At 6:00pm, I left for Porterville and went to spend some time with my Aunt and 2 friends. We went to some Italian restaurant for dinner. After dinner, I went to my friend Angel's house and we hung out together.

Sunday morning came and we had breakfast and were all around the house. I went to the cemetary to take Carlos Alves flowers like I have for the past 21 years and to take my father flowers to his grave. After, I went to Walmart to buy my mom a TV for mother's day. When I got home, I gave her the TV and she was very excited. I offered to make the BBQ Carne Asada, but she asked me to connect the TV for her.

So, with the TV in hand, I walked through the kitchen. I was focussing on the spot I was going to connect the TV for her, missed the step leading into the porch again, and all I remember is my foot went to the left, my bone went to the right, I fell on my butt. I was happy that I didn't break the TV. I was screaming bloody murder, MOM, MOM, MOM, come here MOM, when she came, she found me on the floor crying. I felt like I was going to faint. I told her, Call 911, I broke my foot. My step sister called 911 and what seemed like eternity, they finally came to get me. I was having a major anxiety attack. I was breathing very heavy and was shaking like crazy.

Due to the positioning of the slider door between the kitchen and the back porch, the EMT's had to pick me up from behind my back and another from my knees, while another was holding my foot in his hands. I was SCREAMING in pain. The ride to the hospital was MURDER. I felt every single bump. My breathing was intensifying, my shaking was uncontrollable, tears running down my face.

We finally get to Tulare District Hospital and they leave me in the emergency room in the hall way. I was in so much pain, I was crying. When they came to take x-ray's of my ankle, I couldn't help but scream when they moved my foot. The doctor had the nerve to tell me to be quiet. I wasn't screaming for attention. I was in true physical pain. Those who know me know I have a high pain tollerance. This was extrutiating.

They finally get me into a room. They inform me that I have a dis-located ankle, a broken ankle, and a broken fibula. Once I told them I had Kaisser, they could not get me out of that Emergency room fast enough. They put me under and pop my ankle back into place. I wake up with my leg in a splint and wrapped. They tell me that I have to go see an orthopedic surgeon because I will need surgery. I'm still not 100% awake and they take me from my bed and put me in a wheel chair. Again, I am left to sit out there in the middle of the emergency room waiting for my x-rays so I can take them with me to Kaisser.

They gave me Tylenol with Codeine and send me on my way. The drive home was horrible. I could not elevate my leg in the car. My toes were swollen. When I got home, I elevated my leg and went to sleep.

Monday morning, I call Kaisser Orthopedic Suregon's office and expain to them what had happened the night before and they try to book me an appointment later in the week. I told them I needed to be seen today as I was going to be needing surgery. They told me to be in Fresno at 11:45 am. That only gave us 1 hour from Tulare to get there. Normally that is ample time, but my step father is older and tends to move slower than normal. So, we arrived in Fresno around 11:55pm to find out that the Dr. left for lunch. Meanwhile, I had to get and EKG, and bloodwork and by the time I was finished it was 1:30pm. The nurse previously had informed me that they would take me in right at 1:30pm. I begain noticing them taking in other patients and not calling me. So, I went up to the receptionist, explained the situation and they got me in. Another 45 min in the waiting room go by, and by now I'm getting really bitchy because I am in a lot of pain, and I inform them that I have been waiting. They tell me that the doctor was trying to squeeze me in in between patients. I told them this was unacceptable because the doctor had left for lunch early when their scheduled lunch time in from 12:30 - 1:30pm and I got there at 11:55am. The doctor was in a few minutes later. He looked over my x-rays and informed me that I would be going in for surgery later on that night.

So, at 7:30pm, they finally take me in and prep me for surgery. I think my mom said I came out of surgery around 12:30am. The doctor told my mom that the break was a very bad one. I received a steele plate on my fibula with 6 screws, a pin in my heal and a lovely pink cast.

Everytime I would wake up the pain was extrutiating!! I would wake up crying in pain. The nurses would come in and give me a shot of Morofine. Unfortunately, the Morofine wouldn't last 4 hours until the next dose was available and again, I would wake up crying. My poor roomy didn't sleep well that night. I was in too much pain to be quiet. I kept complaining that my cast was on too tight. The pain was insaine. Finally the doctor ordered that they cut the cast on both sides and open it slightly. When they did that, the pain subsided. It was not as intense as it originally was. They re-wrapped my leg with gauze.

I spent 2 days in the hospital because they could not get my pain under control. They finally began giving me a shot every 4 hours and a pill every 2 hours in between to subside the pain. I tell you, I do not wish this experience upon my worst enemy.

It has now been 9 days since my surgery and I am feeling better mind wise, but am still experiencing a lot of pain on my ankle. I can't seem to position myself comfortabilly at night to sleep. SO I toss and turn most of the night. When I finally find that comfy spot, I don't move at all. Walking on crutches or using a walker is a bit challenging. I get tired very quickly. It takes everything I have to go from the bedroom into the kitchen or the bathroom. I have began sitting outside in my wheel chair to get some fresh air. I wheel myself back and forth for about 45 minutes to build up my arm strength.

Taking a shower is quite challenging. My mom put a tall chair in the bath tub. I have to use my crutches to back up and scoot myself onto the chair and hope it doesn't flip over. My right leg has to be elevated outside of the bath tub and wrapped to ensure it doesn't get wet. I use a hand held shower head to get the soap off my body. I'm someone who loves soaking in the tub and I can no longer do that. I also enjoy long, hot showers, and with a hand held, I cannot enjoy those anymore either. So, I just wash myself the best I can and make sure I don't miss any spots except for my let that is forbidden to get wet.

I got up and made myself some waffles for breakfast today. That was a challenge. I get to tired trying to stay on my crutches and good foot. The cast is very heavy and I get winded trying to walk. Every move is moving the plate inch by inch with every step I take so that I can eventually get over the couch, sit down and eat.

I keep reading online about other people who have gone through what I am going through and I am scared to walk when the day comes. It sounds like it's going to be very painful. I keep moving my toes as much as possible to promote mobility in my foot. I will keep you posted.

My spirit is a little broken because I went from a very independent woman and a pratically immobilized woman. That is very hard for me to have to depend on others to take care of me. I'm always the one taking care of others.

If you are reading this and have gone through or are going through what I am, I would love to hear your story. We need to support eachother.